at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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