My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
