Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
