HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
