She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
