Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
