Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
