you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
