I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
