Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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