i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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