It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I want to be your penis for a week.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
