i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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