So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
