We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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