My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
