I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
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