Don't you send me to vm
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
