why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
