i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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