im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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