I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Sorry about my life...
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
