do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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