Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
How does one acquire holy water?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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