I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
