What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Buhtt sex?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
