we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
