All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
