you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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