sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Let's paint friendship bongs
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
