Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize