Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
