D3 body, D1 cock
Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
