I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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