She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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