Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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