Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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