I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
