So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
