Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
