dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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