I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize