wakey wakey hands off snakey
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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