So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
