If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
ugly people sure do ruin things
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
