you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
