oh god the rape fog is back!
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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