I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
