somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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