the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Boobs speak an international language.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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