doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
