Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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