Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
