you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
