Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Randomize
