I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
nutella sex= disaster
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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