What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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