dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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