Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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