All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize