If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
